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Don’t ask me to smile while I’m raped

Completely triggering to me is when it feels that I must kiss up to some patriarchal abuser or system – in order to get what I need or to get basic fairness .

During my last court date my lawyer attempted to “scold” me for not being more grateful to my ex.

I was supposed to thank him for finally doing something that was in no way fair ? After doing so much that had attacked every member of my household and jeopardized our dwelling?

There was i time that I was that empty a being – therapy cured that.

Don’t expect me to smile at you while you attack me – don’t expect me to try to make nice with you so maybe the pain will stop.

If I can’t control what others do, all I have is my own authentic reaction to the circumstances of my life and that ability to seek empathy , FairPlay, and support within those circumstances.

LSM 2018

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