Earlier today I asked a question of my friends on face book. I asked them to share with me their honor code. I promised that I would share my own later – and so here I am.
Someone asked me to define what an honor code is – and so I will start there. to my mind, ones honor code refers to a person’s unique list of behaviors, thoughts ,actions, and non actions – the sum total of which define that person and what they believe.
It is powerful when a person develops this code over time through trial and sometimes error. Sometimes with the help of a religious path – but not always. it cannot be forced upon a person. One is either capable of integrity (wholeness) or not. We know that this is true, don’t we? How many religious leaders who publicly espouse a set of beliefs – show by their actions – that they are actually deeply out of balance within their supposed beliefs? Many, right?
While I believe that the great religions contain within them – great truths and role models as to what integrity looks like. and while love my Catholic faith and am grateful for its part in the shaping of who I am, I know that if one is coming at this from the outside in, rather than making decisions and taking actions from a place of their own sense of “this is who I am, and this is what I believe and how I wish to walk upon this earth and relate to the other begins here”. when realized from the inside out – it does not change depending on which town you are in – whether you have had a couple of drinks, whether you are with a bunch of people who are indulging in that very behavior.
Ones honor code compels one to either act or not – in accordance with one’s personal power and vision of themselves – and the mark they wish to leave, in their own heart, in the minds of all they touch and the planet that houses them…
This has been much on my mind lately. I have had occasion to watch people whom I know to be good people – struggle with it. I have been tempted to judge, and then ceased that behavior as it violates MY honor code. I turn to my place of strength, my spiritual path and know that these circumstances are a call for me to watch within myself, take an inventory and ask why this energy has shown up in my life and what is it here to teach me?
This is what I define as my honor code:
I, Samsarah Morgan, am a woman of this earth – I feel and accept this as an awesome responsibility. I have been gifted to have carried and given birth 3 children and the mother of a total of five. As a woman and a mother – I am devoted to the safety and well being of all children everywhere. I will take no action – active or passive, which endangers a child. And I am devoted to honoring, protecting and midwifing all stages of human life from conception to death.
I am a grandmother and as such accept and make myself available to assist young families in any and all reasonable way. Therefore allowing them o create islands of safety for their children’s growth and development. My role is to empower by example, love and encouragement.
I am a human being and as such I honor and respect myself. Though I love and affirm the paths of others – I will never allow myself to become the victim of another’s pain. Loving another doesn’t mean that I allow that love to diminish my ability to serve God as I see fit. To feel joy, peace and safety, as is my right.
I respect and love myself and seek to bless my body, which I believe is a gift from God – I treat my body with the best care, rest, exercise and nourishment – to ensure that I am able to enjoy to gifts of life as long as possible and as well as to be of service to my children, their children and my community.
I enjoy my sexuality – and wish to share that part of me with one who honors me as I do myself. I will not be involved sexually where I do not feel that I will be treasured, honored and respected. I will not use my sexuality to avoid loneliness or to attempt to possess another. I will not accept sex when what I require is time, communication, respect or affection.
When I enter into a love relationship, I will do so fully and completely – holding none of myself back and being brave enough to speak my truth at all times and with compassion. I will not allow a fear of abandonment cause me to lie. And I strengthen myself to be able to accept the truth of my beloved, not matter what that might be.
I am aware that my walk here on this earth is short. I vow to waste no time – to drink deep – to love hard, and seek tools for healing for myself and everyone I touch.
I will walk in beauty & compassion.
I will feel and accept myself in all my complexity and I will accept the complexity of others..
I will love with reasonable conditions.
I will not be afraid.
I will speak my truth, and hear the truth of others.
I will be the love I seek – and I will not accept loves opposite into my life – loves opposite being fear.
This is who I am and how I seek to live.
Some days I do better at this than others – but this is my path.
When I stray I return to my God, and you my dear friends, to regain my center.
Thank you for loving me.
Be well, my darlings…
originally published on Facebook 2/8/11