Jazmine and Nana July 4 2013

Good Bye my friend
By L. Samsarah Morgan
When I was almost 10 years old, my mother sat me down to tell me a story. On a piece of paper, she drew a sperm, a happy little fellow with a smile on his face, wearing a top hat. She then drew a plump round egg with and equally happy smile, long lashes, wearing a wedding veil. My mom explained that Mr. Sperm & Miss Egg married – they would join together, and when they did a baby would begin to grow! And that this is was a miracle, and a blessing!
I listened to her tale in rapt attention and fascination! My mother then drew an outline of a ovaries, uterus and fallopian tubes, and went on the explain how sperm cells lived in the ovaries of girls and women – she drew and outline of testes and penis and explained how sperm were made in the bodies of men and boys.
She went on to say that men and boys were able to make sperm in many batches through their life, but that we females were born with all of our eggs already inside us! Very soon my body would begin to prepare one of my eggs to possibly participate in the miracle of life. A rich layer of blood and tissue would build up along the walls of my uterus waiting for an egg to be fertilized and implant itself and grow into a beautiful baby for my future husband and I to nurture and love.
I remember taking a deep breath as she went on the explain that when I was a grownup lady, my husband and I would want to be very close to each other, and this closeness would allow his sperm to enter my body. If the sperm and the egg met each other inside of my – we might be blessed with a baby.
But if the sperm and egg did not meet, the sperm cells would die and my body would absorb them. The rich lining that my body had created throughout the month would be washed out of my body. When that happened, I would see blood and that would be a sign to me. The blood is my friend. It’s there to let me know that my body is healthy, working well and doing its job to stay prepared for my future children.
My momma told me to be sure to let her know when my friend came, and she showed me a sanitary belt and pad and how to use them. He asked me if I had any questions. I didn’t, so she gave me a kiss and released me to play.
I rushed out to our backyard and lay on the grass. My mother’s words swirling in my head. I liked the thought of a miracle growing inside me. I looked forward to being and “all grown up lady”, having a husband, being a mommy, like my mommy.
I felt happy. I felt special. My mom has done a great job! I write this now with true appreciation and thanks to my mother here. She was able to convey a very challenging subject to a relatively young child, is a very enchanting way. She imparted the story with the context of our family faith (Catholicism) and the moral sense she wished me to hold around my sexuality. (That I would be married and that my children would be a result of my future husband and my desire to be close to ne another.) The most important fact she conveyed to my young mind was the sense f the miraculous nature of my body and love and baby making… Great job, MOM!
About six months after this talk, my friend did come. I was excited and happy. I let me mother know, she asked if I remembered everything she had told me? – I did. Did I need any help? – I didn’t. My mother gave me a deep hug and kiss, pronounced me her “big girl” before returning to her housework. She had tears in her eyes…
And so our relationship began, my friend and I each and every month, as regular as a Swiss watch, she would come. Exceptions being of course when I did become that grown up lady who gave birth to three children, and nursed them.

My first pregnancy resulted in two gorgeous healthy boys, David and Robert (7lbs, 3ozs and 6lbs. 10ozs), and three years later, I birth my fat little Joseph (9lbs. 15ozs).
Other than when I was baby making or nursing, my friend was there – every month. On days when I was happy, and on days when my heart was broken. She was part of me, with me and a reminder of a part of myself I always valued and learned to value more and more as I deepened and grew from girl, to you woman and now as a mature woman.
I am now a grandmother, my first born grandchild is a sweet intelligent girl named Jazmine. She and her momma talked often about her period, so she was quite prepared when this spring brought her 1st show of moon blood.
It was my good fortune that Jazmine was with me when this happened. I was sitting on my bed, journaling, when I heard a shy knock on my door, Jazmine entered saying. “I think I may have my period” she was holding a pair of panties in her hand.” I responded with happiness, “Really! Let me see!”
We looked together and sure enough. There was brownish red blood on the aqua panties. I squealed with delight and scooped her up for a big hug. She blushed and smiled with me. “Oh, I said , “ We have to call your momma!’ So we called momma and daddy , who gushed with love and said how proud they were of our new young woman! I asked her if she needed any help dealing with sanitary pads, etc. She didn’t.
As she left my room she turned to me as asked, “Nana?, do we have to have a party/”
“Yes!”. I exclaimed “We do – we love our bodies, don’t we?”, she nodded. “Well then we will celebrate your miraculous body, won’t we?” She shyly agreed.
Our family has a tradition of celebrating young girl’s first period with a “Fete Rouge”, or Red Party, and so, that very week end the ladies in our family and community gathered at my home. Jazmine’s aunties were there; these women have loved her since she was a little baby growing in her mother’s body. These women were her godmothers and close family members. The wife of her precious uncle Joe was there, Rachel my beloved daughter in law.. We gathered approx. 20 women. We all wore red. The adults drank red wine – the children drank red soda pop. We feasted on Jazmine’s favorite dinner, her Nana’s famous, fried chicken. Our dessert was red velvet cake!
It was a wonderful evening. All of these beloved women share with Jazmine their profound love for her and gave her wishes of peace self-love and strength as she began her woman’s journey. The reminder her that we women in this room were always there for her, as she walked though her life – if anything got confusing or scary, that we were there to always make time to listen and to care.
She was showered with gifts, and items to place on her young woman’s alter. Our dear friend, Brenda Salgado, led our circle in prayer and mediation to uplift and honor our new young woman, Jazmine Amiee Silver! By the time this evening was done Jazmine was smiling happy and not at all shy anymore !!
And so Jazmine steps into the circle of women, and her Nana is preparing to explore and other aspect of the same journey. If this July comes and goes without a visit from my friend, I will be officially in menopause. A year without my friend! I feel grief, and I feel wonder. I also have hope that the journey of my life will continue with Grace, Power and Passion. I also feel a tremendous amount of tender joy – that is seems that my life as a bleeding woman will end in the same year that my precious granddaughter’s womanhood begins. There is something very comforting to me about that. A passing on of the touch so to speak…
My sweet granddaughter, may the fact that you are a woman always gave you power and peace. My you feel proud n all aspects of your humanity – may you love your woman’s body and allow no one to define or limit who you are…
And for myself, I say a sweet good bye to my dear friend –thank you for walking with me, for marking my months as a bleeding woman – thank you for my beautiful sons, those I birthed as well as my precious step son, Adam, my adopted son, Greg, and the perfect grandchildren who have come to me through them.
I give thanks to God for my woman’s life and look forward to more miracles! As every day brings a fresh supply!
And for you dear reader, some questions:
How are you honoring rites of passage for the young one’s in your life?
How do you share the miracle of their humanity with them?
How does your family’s spirituality confirm and uplift the inherent perfection of your human body and support a strong self-esteem in your young ones?
Some food for thought…. And if I can help – let me know!
Blessings!

[tube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwB1eBnSHRc[/tube]

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