A taste of mortality #4
So here’s is funny side moment – its funny now, wasn’t funny at all then.
As I was riding out to the hospital -after I was done crying. I had yet another moment of dread! Oh shit, I thought – i could imaging the faces of certain vegan associates of mine – dear lord, i though please don’t let me have a heart attack. i simply could not tolerate the eye tolling of some folks I knew who have told me since I began a controlled carb diet plan – that I was going to kill myself doing so.
“You know,” I joked at their warnings “, if it kills me – it kills me” . this was of course a silly statement of bravado. Point of fact, I of course embarked upon my diet as I had moved forward on all of the important decisions on my life and health – I did extensive research and I consult with one of the foremost teachers on this way of eating.
As a result – i have dropped about 160lbs total. I feel great most of the time. I no longer have the arthritis pain in my hip that has been with me since I was a child. I no longer have the severe depression that plagued me throughout my young adult hood.
I had to several moments and shake off my inner fat phobe – this was one of many fears that this moment required me to address.
So back in the hospital, A friendly Dr. came to see me. He was a jovial bald gentleman with bright smiley eyes and a warm handshake. He introduced himself and asked me.”what are we here for today?”
It told him that I was having chest pain. and he asked me the now familiar questions; when where how long what steps have I taken, etc. I answered them all – trying not to cry.
He told me that he could see that I was very emotional – so he wanted me to know that the tests all seem to be coming back clear – the EKG was good – that they are just going to run one more test to look for the possibility blood clots – but if that came back clear as well, they would send me home.
I was greatly relieved – but then it dawned upon me – my chest still hurts.. So i asked the doctor about that – i told him that i was under a great deal of personal stress and i felt that that was probably the main culprit. he agreed that that could be the case however – he recommended that I bring that up with my personal doctor – that all he could say was that right now, tonight. I was not having a heart attack, nor did it appear that i had had one earlier.
I told him – that I would take that. And we smiled at each other. He said that the last test would take about an hour to get the results of and that he would return soon.
and with that Dr. Smiliey made his exit.
(more soon)